The Power of Coming Home to Yourself: A Journey to Authentic Leadership and Joy

In a world that constantly demands more; more productivity, more performance, more perfection, many of us, especially women in leadership, find ourselves drifting further from who we truly are. We wear the masks, play the roles, and meet the expectations. But at what cost?

The truth is, the most powerful, joyful, and impactful leaders are those who are deeply connected to themselves. They lead not from a place of performance, but from presence. Not from ego, but from essence.

Why Coming Home to Yourself Matters

Coming home to yourself is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. It’s the foundation of authentic leadership, sustainable wellbeing, and meaningful impact. When you’re rooted in your truth:

• You make decisions with clarity and confidence.

• You build trust and inspire others effortlessly.

• You experience more joy, creativity, and resilience.

• You stop chasing validation and start embodying value.

This is especially vital for women who have been conditioned to prioritise others, to shrink, to strive. Reclaiming your inner space is a radical act of leadership.

The Inner Work of Outer Impact

As leaders, we often focus on systems, structures, and strategies. But transformation begins within- using the self as an instrument. The most effective change agents are those who have done their own inner work. That means:

• Listening deeply to your body, your intuition, your emotions.

• Unlearning the narratives that no longer serve you.

• Reconnecting with your values, your voice, your vision.

• Creating space for stillness, reflection, and self-compassion.

This isn’t soft. It’s strong. It’s the kind of strength that doesn’t need to shout to be heard.

From Burnout to Brilliance

Many women I work with are exhausted, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. They’re tired of pretending, performing, and pushing. What they long for is permission to be real. To be whole and to be enough.

And here’s the secret: when you give yourself that permission, everything changes. You stop burning out and start burning bright. You become magnetic. You attract aligned opportunities, relationships, and results.

How to Begin Your Journey Home

If this resonates with you, here are a few gentle invitations to begin:

1. Pause daily – even for five minutes – to check in with yourself.

2. Journal your truth without editing or judging.

3. Seek spaces (coaching, circles, retreats) where you can be fully seen and supported.

4. Say no to what drains you and yes to what delights you.

5. Remember: You are not broken, you are becoming.

Let’s Walk This Path Together

If you’re ready to deepen your authenticity, elevate your leadership, and experience more joy, I’d love for you to be supported.

Whether through 1:1 coaching, group programmes, or speaking engagements, my work is about helping women like you come home to themselves—and lead from that place. Because when you do, you don’t just change your life. You change the world.

The Heart-Centred Leader: Reclaiming Joy as Sovereignty

In the world of leadership and organisational development, we often talk about strategy, systems, and performance. But what if the most powerful leadership tool isn’t found in a spreadsheet or a boardroom, but in your heart?

One of the most transformational and misunderstood archetypes in shadow work: The Sovereign, also known as the Queen, the King, or the Heart-Centred Leader.

This archetype doesn’t rule through dominance or fear. She leads through love, alignment, and joy. And yet, many of us, especially women, have been taught to fear or suppress this part of ourselves.

Joy: The Portal to Sovereignty

Joy is not frivolous. It’s not indulgent. It’s not naive. Joy is the frequency of thriving. It’s the embodied belief: “I am worthy of life.”

When we are rooted in our inner Heart Centred Leader, we radiate presence, confidence, and compassion. We lead, not from ego, fear, or burnout, but from the heart.

But here’s the paradox: joy is often the first thing we exile.

Especially if:

• You were told joy makes you “too much.”

• You learned success invites jealousy.

• You feared joy because it never lasted.

The Sovereign Archetype in Leadership

The Sovereign is the part of you that leads with wisdom, vision, and care for the whole; your inner world, your team, your community.

When integrated, your Heart Centred Leader is:

• Grounded in self-trust.

• Able to hold complexity with grace.

• Open to joy, while rooted in discernment.

But when this archetype is in shadow, we either inflate or deflate.

👑 Inflation: The Over-Identified Heart Centred Leader

This is the Heart Centred Leader who leads for admiration, not alignment. She shines, but it’s performative. She’s driven by fear of insignificance.

Claire, a high-achieving executive, had the title, the team, the spotlight. But she was exhausted. Her joy was real—but always for others’ approval. Her Sovereign was inflated, masking a deep fear: “If I stop shining, I’ll disappear.”

Claire was the kind of woman people admired instantly. She had the title—Director at a global firm. She had the team—forty people who looked to her for direction. She had the presence—always polished, always articulate, always “on.”

But in our first coaching session, Claire confessed something that really resonated with me:

“I feel like I’m performing my life. I’m exhausted, but I don’t know how to stop.”

Claire’s Sovereign archetype was in inflation. She had built her identity around being the one who always had it together. Her joy was real—but it was curated. It was the kind of joy that looked good on LinkedIn, not the kind that nourished her soul.

She couldn’t delegate because she didn’t trust anyone to do it “right.” She feared that if she stopped shining, she’d become invisible. Her leadership was driven by a deep, unspoken belief:

“If I’m not exceptional, I’m nothing.”

As we worked together, Claire began to explore the roots of this belief. She grew up in a family where achievement was love. Joy was allowed—but only if it came with results. Over time, she had learned to equate visibility with value.

Through coaching and familiarising herself with her own shadow, Claire began to reconnect with her vulnerability. She practiced letting others see her without the mask. She started saying no. She even took a weekend off, completely offline, for the first time in years.

And something beautiful happened: her team didn’t fall apart. In fact, they stepped up. Claire’s leadership became more magnetic, not less. Because now, it was real.

“I thought joy was something I had to earn. Now I know it’s something I get to live from.”

Deflation: The Collapsed Heart Centred Leader

This is the Queen who hides. She fears her own power. She downplays her gifts and avoids visibility.

Lena, a natural leader, always held back. She’d say, “It feels arrogant to lead.” Her joy had been shamed early on, “Don’t get too big for your boots.” Her Sovereign was deflated, her light dimmed to stay safe. Lena was a quiet powerhouse. She had a gift for bringing people together, for seeing the big picture, for holding space in a way that made others feel safe and seen, but she never saw herself as a leader.

“It feels arrogant to think I could lead, I’m not that kind of person.”

Lena’s Sovereign archetype was in deflation. She had exiled her inner Heart Centred Leader; she avoided visibility, downplayed her ideas, and deferred to others, even when she had the clearest vision in the room. When we explored her story, Lena shared that as a child, she was often told not to “show off.” Her joy was met with suspicion. Her confidence was labelled as “bossy” and over time, she learned to shrink.

“I thought being humble meant being invisible”

Lena began to reclaim her voice. She started small, speaking up in meetings, sharing her ideas without apology. She began journaling moments of pride, even when they felt uncomfortable. She practiced standing tall, literally and metaphorically. Then one day, she led a team workshop, not because she was asked, but because she offered. It was a turning point.

“I didn’t feel like I was pretending. I felt like I was coming home.”

Lena’s joy returned. Not as a burst of excitement, but as a steady flame. She began to see that her leadership wasn’t about being loud or flashy. It was about being rooted. Present. She had reclaimed her Heart Centred Leader.

Reclaiming the Integrated Queen

When we reclaim the Sovereign, we reclaim joy as leadership. This is the Queen who:

• Knows her worth without proving it.

• Leads from love, not lack.

• Understands that joy is sacred fuel, not selfish.

Shadow Work Prompts for your Heart Centred Leader

1. What was my relationship with joy growing up?

2. When do I feel most in my leadership?

3. What stories do I carry about being “too much” or “not enough”?

Practices to Embody your Heart Centred Leader

📝 Joy Journaling
Write one moment of joy or pride each day. Even the smallest spark counts.

👑 Power Posture Meditation
Sit like a Queen. Imagine your crown. Breathe into your heart. Say aloud:
“My joy is not a threat. It is my strength.”

💡 Sovereign Decision-Making
Ask: “What would the Queen in me choose?”
Not the people-pleaser. Not the perfectionist. The Queen.

Joy is a Revolutionary Act

To feel joy in a world that profits from your burnout is revolutionary.

The Heart Centred Leader archetype reminds us: Joy is not indulgent—it’s intelligent. It guides us toward purpose, alignment, and impact.

So if joy feels scary, start small. Let it in drop by drop. Because when your Sovereign rises, you don’t just shine, you lead.

✨ Ready to Reclaim Your Sovereignty?

If this resonates, I invite you to explore deeper with me:

• 1:1 Coaching for women ready to lead from joy and authenticity.

• Workshops & Retreats for teams and leaders.

• Speaking & Facilitation for organisations seeking heart-centred leadership.

Let’s rise together. Let’s lead with joy. Let’s reclaim the Heart Centred Leader.

The Feeling Body: Grief as a Gateway to Connection

In a world that celebrates productivity, performance, and pushing through, there’s a quieter voice within us that often gets silenced. It’s the voice of the Lover or The Feeling Body, the part of us that longs to feel, to connect, to be fully alive.

This archetype isn’t about romance in the traditional sense. It’s about the Feeling Body, the part of you that aches, that yearns, that marvels, that grieves. The Feeling Body is often the most buried, especially for those of us who were taught to “toughen up” or “keep going.”

But the Feeling Body never disappears. They simply wait, beneath the surface, for us to feel again.

Grief: The Sacred Language of the Lover

Unlike the Warrior or the Action Taker, who is activated by anger, the Feeling Body is awakened through grief, sadness, and longing. Think of the last time your heart ached, not necessarily from grieving a death, but from:

• A friendship that faded.

• Feeling unseen in a relationship.

• A dream that quietly dissolved.

These moments, as painful as they are, are sacred. Because you only grieve what you deeply love. Grief is not weakness, it’s evidence of connection.

The Feeling Body’s Purpose: To Feel and Connect

The Feeling Body invites us to slow down. To be present and open to the bittersweet fullness of life, the joy and the sorrow, the beauty and the heartbreak. But when the Feeling Body is in shadow, we lose balance. We either become flooded or numb.

💔 The Inflated Feeling Body

Elise was magnetic. Empathetic. Deeply intuitive and empathic, but she was also exhausted.

“I feel everything so deeply, it’s like I’m drowning in my own heart.”

Elise had a pattern: she would fall into relationships quickly, merge completely, and then feel shattered when things shifted. Her grief wasn’t just about the other person, it was about the parts of herself she abandoned to be loved. Her Feeling Body was inflated. She equated love with self-sacrifice. She mistook intensity for intimacy, and when the connection faded, she felt like she was disappearing. Elise began to reclaim her boundaries. She learned that true connection doesn’t require losing yourself. She started practicing emotional containment, feeling deeply, but not being consumed.

“I used to think love meant giving everything. Now I know it means staying with myself, even in the ache.”

🧊 The Deflated Feeling Body

Daniel was the rock. The reliable one. The one who never cried.

“I don’t really do emotion, I just get on with it.”

But when his dog passed away, something cracked. He came in and sobbed, for the first time in decades. What poured out wasn’t just grief for his pet. It was unprocessed sorrow from his parents’ divorce, a friend he lost in college, and the love he never let himself feel. Daniel’s Lover was deflated. He had buried his emotions so deeply that he forgot how to feel. But that grief, raw and unfiltered, was the key to reconnecting with his own heart.

“I didn’t realise how much I’d been holding. It’s like I’m finally breathing again.”

The Integrated Feeling Body: Feeling as Strength

When we bring the Feeling Body back into balance, we reclaim our emotional aliveness. We begin to see grief not as something to fix, but as something to honour. We cry not just from pain, but from awe. We feel beauty in the smallest things like a leaf, a song, a memory. The integrated Lover is:

• Soft yet strong.

• Open but discerning.

• Grounded in the truth that feeling is not weakness—it’s wisdom.

How to Work with the Feeling Body Archetype

Here are three gentle practices to reconnect with your Feeling Body (or Lover):

1. 🌿 Grief Rituals: Create space to honour what you’ve lost; people, places, versions of yourself. Light a candle. Speak their names. Let yourself cry.

2. 🌸 Beauty Practice: Each day, notice something beautiful. Let it land in your body. The Lover is nourished by beauty, not just productivity.

3. 💞 Connection Inventor: Ask yourself:

• Where do I feel most emotionally alive?

• Where do I hold back out of fear?

• Who or what do I long to reconnect with?

The Medicine of Grief

In a culture that tells us to “move on” and “stay strong,” the Lover archetype invites us to slow down and feel. Grief, sadness, longing: these are not problems, they are portals. They bring us back to what matters and remind us that we are human. So if you’re feeling tender today, don’t rush to fix it. Sit with it and let it soften you. Your Feeling Body isn’t broken; it’s just waiting to be felt.

✨ Ready to Reconnect with Your Heart?

If this resonates, I’d love for you to be supported:

• 1:1 Coaching for women and leaders ready to reclaim emotional aliveness.

• Workshops & Retreats focused on shadow work, grief integration, and embodied leadership.

• Speaking & Facilitation for organisations seeking more heart-centred, human leadership.

Let’s feel more. Let’s lead from the heart. Let’s honour the Feeling Body within.

The Action Taker: Anger as a Portal to Empowering the Warrior Within

In a world that often rewards politeness over power and compliance over clarity, many women and leaders have learned to suppress one of their most vital inner forces: anger.

But what if anger isn’t something to fear or fix? What if it’s a sacred signal, an invitation to reclaim your voice, your boundaries, and your power?

The Warrior Archetype or The Action Taker, is the part of you that takes action, protects what matters, and says, “No more.” Anger, when met with awareness, can become your most potent ally.

⚔️ The Warrior Archetype: Sacred Action-Taker

The Warrior or The Action Taker isn’t just about conflict or control. At its core, this archetype is about:

• Focused energy

• Clear boundaries

• Courageous action

• Discernment and direction

You’ve felt the Warrior rise in you before, those moments when something inside said, “This has to stop” or “I can’t stay silent anymore.” That’s not rage, it’s clarity, your Action Taker waking up. But if we haven’t done our inner work, the Action Taker can become distorted and that’s where anger becomes both a signal and a saboteur.

🔥 Anger: The Warrior’s Call to Action

Anger is not the problem. It’s the messenger. It tells us:

• A boundary has been crossed.

• A value has been violated.

• A need has gone unmet for too long.

But most of us were never taught how to listen to anger. We were taught to fear it, suppress it, or explode with it, so the Action Taker either becomes inflated or deflated.

💣 The Inflated Action Taker

Maya was a powerhouse. She ran a successful business, managed a team, and was the go-to person for everyone in her life. But when she came to me, she was burnt out, bitter, and angry.

“I’m tired of doing everything. But if I don’t, who will?”

Maya uncovered a childhood wound: she had to be the adult in a chaotic home. Her Warrior had inflated—she became hyper-independent, always in control, never asking for help. Her anger wasn’t just about her staff, colleagues or her partner. It was her inner child screaming, “I’m tired of holding it all together.” Through shadow work coaching, Maya began to soften. She learned to delegate, to rest, to trust. Her Action Taker didn’t disappear—it became wiser. More discerning and more sustainable.

“I thought strength meant doing it all. Now I know it means knowing when to stop.”

🧍‍♂️ The Deflated Action Taker

Jonah was deeply empathic and kind. But he struggled to speak up, set boundaries, or say no.

“I don’t get angry, I just let things go.”

But when his business partner crossed a line, again, he came to me feeling stuck and resentful. As we explored his story, we uncovered a deep fear: his father had explosive rage, and Jonah had learned that anger was dangerous. So he buried his Action Taker and with it, his ability to protect himself. Through inner work, Jonah began to reclaim his anger, not as aggression, but as clarity. He practiced saying no. He stood up for himself and he discovered that his Action Taker wasn’t violent, it was vital.

“I used to think anger would destroy things. Now I see it can build boundaries.”

🛡️ The Integrated Action Taker: From Fire to Focus

When we reclaim the Action Taker archetype, we don’t become combative, we become clear. We learn to:

• Listen to our anger without becoming it.

• Set boundaries without guilt.

• Take action from love, not fear.

We can ask:

• What boundary was crossed?

• What value was violated?

• What is the unmet need beneath this fire?

Then we can make a choice: How can I honour this anger without being consumed by it?

That’s the shift from reaction to response, from chaos to clarity.

🔧 Practices to Engage the Action Taker with Integrity

Here are three powerful ways to work with this archetype:

1. ✍️ Shadow Work Journaling

• “When I get angry, I usually…”

• “What do I believe about anger?”

• “What part of me is trying to speak through this fire?”

2. 🥊 Movement Practice: Let the energy move through your body, box, stomp, scream into a pillow. Let the Warrior move through you, not at others.

3. 🧍‍♀️ Embodied Boundaries: Practice saying no with your chest lifted and feet grounded. The Warrior doesn’t just fight, they protect what matters most.

💬Anger is Sacred

In a world that teaches women to be nice instead of powerful, the Action Taker archetype is revolutionary. Anger is not the enemy, it’s the spark that says: “Something here deserves your attention.”

When we meet that fire with curiosity and courage, we don’t burn bridges, we build boundaries. We don’t lash out, we lead. So if you’re feeling angry today, don’t push it down. Pause. Listen. Ask: What is this fire trying to protect?

Because when you reclaim your Action Taker, you don’t just take action, you take your power back.

✨ Ready to Reclaim Your Action Taker?

If this resonates, I’d love for you to be supported:

• 1:1 Coaching for women and leaders ready to turn anger into aligned action.

• Workshops & Retreats on shadow work, boundaries, and embodied empowerment.

• Speaking & Facilitation for organisations seeking courageous, heart-led leadership.

Let’s rise. Let’s lead. Let’s honour the Warrior within.

The Transformer: Fear, Power & the Path of the Magician Within

In everyone, every leader, women and every seeker of truth, there lives a paradoxical force. One that sees beyond the surface, weaves meaning from chaos, and transforms pain into power. This is the Transformer Archetype—also known as the Alchemist, the Shapeshifter, the Magician. The Transformer is the part of us that works with energy, language, symbols, and story. They don’t operate in the realm of brute force or raw emotion, they operate in the realm of perception, where reality is altered not by action, but by insight. But here’s the paradox: the deeper the Transformer sees, the more vulnerable they become to fear.

🧠 The Transformer: Master of Meaning

In mythology, the Magician is Merlin, Gandalf, the medicine woman, the quantum physicist, the spiritual teacher, the Wise Women of the Forest. In Jungian psychology, the Transformer or Magician is one of the four core archetypes—and it lives in all of us, regardless of gender. At its best, the Transformer is:

• A guide

• A healer

• A pattern-seer

• A transformer of consciousness

But when fear enters the system, the Transformer splits. What was once wisdom becomes manipulation, what was once insight becomes paralysis.

😨 The Shadow of the Transformer: Fear in Disguise

The Transformer’s shadow often shows up in two forms:

1. The Persecutor

This is the Transformer who uses knowledge to control, shame, or dominate. They weaponise truth, create hierarchy and cast psychological spells to stay safe. The Persecutor is the Transformer’s shadow when insight is used as a weapon. This part emerges when the psyche feels threatened and uses knowledge, truth, or authority to shame, dominate, or control others.

2. The Safety Officer

This is the hyper-vigilant Transformer. They over-analyse, intellectualise, and stay three steps ahead to avoid risk. They don’t harm others, but they shut down transformation to avoid being harmed. The Safety Officer is a protective part that emerges when the Transformer’s perceptive gifts are overwhelmed by fear. This part of the psyche is hyper-attuned to potential threats, emotional, energetic, social, or existential,and attempts to maintain control through intellectualisation, analysis, and strategic withdrawal.

Both are fear responses. One strikes. The other hides.

🧪 A Personal Story: When I Lost My Magic

There was a time I stepped into a leadership role in a coaching space that was energetically intense. I had the tools. I could read the field and I knew what was happening beneath the surface. But I was terrified—of getting it wrong, of being attacked, of being seen and having too much visibility. So I went into my Safety Officer. I stayed on the edges, analysing, watching. I used language like “holding space” and “energetic integrity,” but I wasn’t leading, I was hiding. Later, when I finally spoke up, I was triggered. I became sharp and I used truth like a weapon. I became the Persecutor, not out of malice, but out of fear. I wanted to feel in control. In both cases, I wasn’t embodying the true Transformer. I was trapped in my shadow.

🩹 The Wounds Behind the Mask

The Transformer’s shadow is often rooted in deep, unspoken wounds:

• Betrayal: Being betrayed by those we trusted with our gifts.

• Rejection for Knowing: Being told we were “too much,” “too intense,” or “too perceptive.”

• Fear of Power: A core fear that if we lead, we’ll become like those who hurt us, or that others will project that onto us.

So we self-sabotage. We hold back, or we go cold.

🔺 The Over-Inflated Transformer

In inflation, the Transformer becomes over-identified with their insight, intellect, or spiritual authority. They may appear powerful, but they are often disconnected from humility, heart, and embodied presence. Traits of the Inflated Magician:

• Uses knowledge to create hierarchy or superiority

• Becomes overly abstract, mystical, or cryptic

• Believes they are “above” others or immune to feedback

• May manipulate others through language, energy, or “truth bombs”

• Avoids vulnerability by staying in the role of teacher, guide, or expert

Root Wound: Often rooted in betrayal or rejection for being gifted, leading to a compensatory need to prove worth through intellect or insight.

🔻 Deflation: The Collapsed Transformer

In deflation, the Magician disowns their gifts. They may feel unsafe, unworthy, or afraid of being seen. This often leads to hiding, over-intellectualizing, or staying in the observer role. Traits of the Deflated Magician:

• Doubts their intuition or insight

• Over-analyses instead of acting

• Avoids leadership or visibility

• Feels like an imposter or fraud

• Uses language to distance rather than connect

Root Wound:Often rooted in fear of misuse of power, or past experiences of being shamed, punished, or misunderstood for their knowing.

🧘‍♀️ The Path to Integration: From Fear to Presence

The healing path is not to exile these parts, but to integrate them.

• The Persecutor needs love: beneath the harshness is a terrified child who learned to control to survive.

• The Safety Officer needs reassurance: he needs to know that life isn’t out to get him anymore, that you, the adult self, have tools now.

To reclaim the true Transformer, we must return to the body. Breathe into the fear. Let the nervous system settle and then speak, not from performance, but from presence. Because the true Transformer doesn’t manipulate reality, they collaborate with it.

🧭 Practices to Reclaim the Transformer

Here are three ways to begin working with this archetype:

1. Shadow Inquiry: Ask yourself:

• “Where do I use insight to protect rather than connect?”

• “When do I hide behind language instead of showing up in truth?”

• “What part of me is afraid of being seen?”

2. Nervous System Grounding: Before speaking, leading, or facilitating—pause. Breathe. Feel your feet. Let your body know: It’s safe to be here.

3. Story Reclamation: Write the story of a time you felt powerful and safe in your knowing. Then write the story of a time you felt punished for it. What needs to be healed between those two versions of you?

🧙‍♀️ The World Needs More Transformers

If you find yourself shape-shifting to survive…
If you feel the need to control the field, the people, or your own emotions—pause.

Ask yourself:
What part of me is afraid right now?
Am I trying to protect? Or am I trying to transform?

The world doesn’t need more posturing, it needs more presence. It needs Transformers brave enough to face their own fear, transmute shadow into insight, and guide others, not from above, but alongside. This is the work of the Transformer and it begins within.

✨ Ready to Reclaim Your Inner Transformer?

If this resonates, I’d love for you to be supported:

• 1:1 Coaching for women and leaders ready to reclaim their intuitive power and lead from presence.

• Workshops & Retreats on shadow work, archetypes, and embodied transformation.

• Speaking & Facilitation for organisations seeking deeper, wiser, more human leadership.

Let’s transform. Let’s lead. Let’s remember the magic.